Why Joni Mitchell and Graham Nash’s Short-Lived Relationship Was Doomed From the Start

It’s hard to imagine a greater musical power couple of the 1960s Laurel Canyon scene than Joni Mitchell and Graham Nash, but in actuality, their short-lived relationship was doomed from the start. Their first introduction happened in 1968 after a Hollies show when Nash walked over to Mitchell, who was sitting alone in a corner following his performance.

The pair quickly transitioned from the venue to Mitchell’s hotel room, which Nash later described as “a seduction scene extraordinaire. She picked up a guitar and played me 15 of the best songs I’d ever heard, and then we spent the night together. It was magical on so many different levels” (via Far Out Magazine). They later moved in together in Mitchell’s Laurel Canyon home, inspiring iconic tracks like Nash’s “Our House” and Mitchell’s “A Case Of You.”

However, differing relationship expectations and the strain of substance abuse eventually snuffed the spark between the two superstars nearly as quickly as it arose.

Joni Mitchell and Graham Nash’s Romance Bloomed On Lookout Mountain

Even before (but especially after) Graham Nash moved into Joni Mitchell’s Laurel Canyon home on Lookout Mountain in California, the Canadian folk singer’s home was a mecca for contemporary creatives. Other stars like Neil Young, Judee Sill, Cass Eliot, and Glenn Frey regularly hung out at Mitchell’s home, talking, writing music, performing for one another, and partaking in their fair share of smoke and drink.

“I think that a lot of beautiful music came from it, and a lot of beautiful times came through that mutual understanding,” Mitchell later said (via Louder Sound). “A lot of pain came from it too, because inevitably different relationships broke up, and it gets complicated.” One of those relationships, of course, was with Nash. “Graham was a sweetheart, but he needed a more traditional female. He loved me dearly, but he wanted a stay-at-home wife to raise his children.”

Nevertheless, the two enjoyed their lives together for about a year until tensions started to grow toward the end of the 1960s. While on a European tour together, Nash started discussing politics on stage, voicing his opinions against the Vietnam War and the recent Kennedy assassination. This angered Mitchell, who has ties to the military and decidedly never took the same staunch anti-war stance as was en vogue in the 60s. “You keep slagging America after it gave you all this opportunity,” Nash recalled her saying to him. “Why are you biting the hand that feeds you?” The fight got more volatile. Mitchell poured a bowl of cereal on Nash’s head in front of the maid; Nash spanked Mitchell over his knee as punishment for doing so.

Drug Use Would Be The Final Nail In Their Relationship’s Coffin

Even as tempestuous as Mitchell and Nash’s confrontation in Europe was, it wouldn’t be the final nail in their relationship’s coffin. That nail ended up being Nash’s drug use. At the time, Nash was sailing from Florida to San Francisco with bandmate David Crosby on a weeks-long marijuana and c—— bender. For Mitchell, this would be a dealbreaker. “C—— puts a barrier up,” Mitchell said. “Where Graham and I had been a real couple, very close, suddenly there was this barrier. People were more secretive about drugs back then” (via Louder Sound).

Mitchell sent Nash a telegram shortly after he arrived back in the States from his sailing excursion that read, “If you hold sand too tightly in your hand, it will run through your fingers. Love, Joan.” Ever the poet, one has to wonder if Mitchell’s short and sweet farewell note was a reference to trying to cling too tightly to another person, the damaging effects of the sand (perhaps a metaphor for cocaine), or if both meanings were true.

Either way, Nash remembers his relationship with the folk superstar fondly. “We were each other’s lives then, and I just loved her so much, and she loved me,” Nash said in a 2022 interview with The Irish Times. “There’s no doubt about it in my mind. We would light up a f—ing room when we talked into it.” He also insisted he never would’ve expected her to give up her career so he could pursue his, although he acknowledged he knew she felt that way. “I think Joan thought if she married me, I would ask her to stop writing and just cook pie. That is so insane to think that.”

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