The Best And Worst Of The ACM Awards

If Nashville seemed a little empty this weekend, it was probably because most of the city’s country music industry had flown to Las Vegas for the 47th annual ACM Awards.

The three-hour ceremony kicked off last night with a performance by Carrie Underwood and ended with a somewhat bizarre duet between Blake Shelton and Lionel Richie. There was also a Carrot Top cameo, an onstage wedding, an awkward appearance by Marc Anthony and an overwhelming number of performances by country music’s eite. Here are the best (and worst) moments of the night.

Weirdest presenters: KISS, who dressed themselves up in full KISS regalia to present the “Vocal Group of the Year” award to Lady Antebellum. It’s worth noting that Lady Antebellum vocalist Charles Kelley still towered over every member of the group, even 6’2” Gene Simmons, who gained a few more inches thanks to his platform shoes.

Best performance of a not-so-good song: Keith Urban, who sung “For You” with such conviction that he wound up getting teary toward the end… even if most of us remained dry-eyed at home.

Best Taylor Swift joke: “I saw word Taylor is going to be coming out with her own perfume. It’s actually called…” [makes the “shocked Taylor Swift face,” with mouth agape and eyes open in mock surprise]. – Blake Shelton

Crushing realization: Learning that you and Mitt Romney have similar tastes in country music.

New fashion trend: The baseball cap, which seems to be stealthily replacing the cowboy hat.

Most planet-friendly message: Chris Young’s “Save Water, Drink Beer,” performed with gusto by the Tennessee native.

Best acceptance speech: Miranda Lambert, who celebrated her “Album of the Year” trophy by praising her competitors. “I own every record in this category, and I’ve been listening and listening, thinking I’m not going to get [the award],” she said. “Every record is so amazing.”

Best comment from my friend Kevin, who watched the entire ceremony with me: “I like “Red Solo Cup.” It’s so stupidly simple. It makes me think I can be him.”

Stage hogs: Zac Brown Band and Brad Paisley, who performed their own songs before sharing the stage later in the evening for a guitar-driven duet.

The point where my wife finally lost her cool and went upstairs to fall asleep: Martina McBride and Pat Monahan’s gooey, lovey-dovey duet, performed with all the professionalism of a beauty show talent segment while two people actually got married onstage behind them. The Bachelor meets American Idol.