Spinal Tap’s Derek Smalls is Ready to “Crush Barbie” with New Single

Spinal Tap bassist Derek Smalls is not a fan of Barbie. Months after the pink phenomenon of Greta Gerwig’s 2023 Barbie film, starring Margot Robbie as the titular character and Ryan Gosling as Ken, Smalls is sickened by the world of the famed Mattel doll and her dashing beau. Pushing back at the colossal craze, Smalls attempts to smash the pink sensation with “Must Crush Barbie.”

Big new stink / Too much pink / Ooo must crush Barbie sings Smalls through the riff-roaring metal track. A descriptor of the song cites the “trademark qualities that Smalls and Spinal Tap are known for—raw, bass-heavy, and most importantly, loud, offering a much-needed antidote to the ubiquitous pinkness that has spilled out of movie theatres this summer and onto the high streets with wall-to-wall media coverage.”

The summer blockbuster, which has already surpassed $1.4 billion in sales worldwide, may soon be reignited following its recent streaming premiere—something Smalls dreads.

“Been spending the last year or so as Brand Ambassador for BruegelCoin, the Dutch cryptocurrency,” said Smalls, who has also performed as real-life actor Harry Shearer, in a statement. “Since it was cratering this past spring, I was following the news more than usual, which is where I got bombarded by all the Barbie BS. I don’t know which angered me more, but it’s really hard to write a song about crypto. But the overwhelming shroud of pinkness definitely deserved a major pricking. And that’s where I came in.”

Smalls, who starred in Rob Reiner’s 1984 “documentary’ of the band, This is Spinal Tap, may reprise his role in a forthcoming sequel. Spinal Tap II will reunite Smalls along with David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean), and Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest) as the pseudo-legendary band.

“The plan is to do a sequel that comes out on the 40th anniversary of the original film and I can tell you hardly a day goes by without someone saying ‘Why don’t you do another one?’” said Reiner. “For so many years, we said, ‘Nah.’ It wasn’t until we came up with the right idea of how to do this,” said Reiner. “You don’t want to just do it, to do it. You want to honor the first one and push it a little further with the story.”

[RELATED: ‘Spinal Tap II’ Set for Production with Original Cast Members]

Though much of the new storyline is still under wraps, Reiner said the sequel follows the band after they’ve drifted away from one another.

“They’ve played Albert Hall, played Wembley Stadium, all over the country and in Europe,” Reiner said. “They haven’t spent any time together recently. The idea was that Ian Faith, who was their manager, he passed away. In reality, Tony Hendra passed away. Ian’s widow inherited a contract that said Spinal Tap owed them one more concert. She was basically going to sue them if they didn’t. All these years and a lot of bad blood we’ll get into and they’re thrown back together and forced to deal with each other and play this concert.”

Photo: Rob Shanahan / Courtesy of Big Hassle PR