“Satan Gave Me A Taco”

Satan gave me a taco and it made me really sick.
The chicken was all raw and the grease was mighty thick.
The rice was all rancid and the beans were so hard.
I was gettin’ kinda dizzy eatin’ all the lard.
There was aphids on the lettuce and I ate every one.
And after I was done, the salsa melted off my tongue.
Pieces of tortilla got stuck in my throat
And the stains on my clothes burned a hole through my coat.
My stomach was a-trembling. I broke out in a rash.
I was so dry and thirsty and I didn’t have no cash,
So I went and found a hose, tore off all my clothes,
Turned on the water and it shot right up my nose.
Some old lady came along and she thought I was a freak,
So she beat me with a handbag ’til I could hardly speak.
I was lying there naked, my body badly bruised,
In a pool of my own blood, unconscious and confused.
Well, the cops came and got me and threw me in their van.
I woke up on the ceiling and I couldn’t find my hand.
They took me to the judge, his eyes a-glowing red.
The courtroom was filled with witches and the dead.
Well, the sheriff was a hellhound with fangs and claws.
The prisoners were tied up and chained to the walls.
The air was gettin’ thick. The smoke was gettin’ thicker.
The judge read the verdict, said, “Cut off his head!”
Well, they placed me on the altar and he raised up the axe.
My head was about to explode, when I noticed the Marshall stacks.
I noticed all the smoke machines, the cameras, and the lights,
Some guy with a microphone running around, dancing in tights.
And I noticed the crew and the band playing down below,
And I realised I was in a rock video.
So I went and joined the band and went out on tour
And I smoked a lot of heroin and I passed out in manure.
I made out with the groupies, started fires back stage,
Made a lot of money and I gave it all away.
Well, the band got killed, so I started a solo career
And I won all the awards and I drank all the beer.
I opened up a taco stand just to smell the smell,
Cooking with the devil, frying down in hell.

— Written by Beck Hansen. Appears on the album Stereopathic Soul Manure.