It’s Going To Be A Coldplay Christmas

While a recent study shows that the least amount of breakups occur on Christmas, a December 25 split is the subject of Coldplay’s new holiday song. “Christmas Lights” follows a freshly-single narrator remembering the reason for the season by going to Oxford Street, London’s largest shopping district. Spoiler alert: there is no solace to be found in shop windows, because “when you’re still waiting for the snow to fall, it doesn’t really feel like Christmas at all.”

The video features the band performing in front of a vaguely Méliès/Smashing Pumpkins/The Mighty Boosh-like backdrop of the moon. Violin-playing Elvis impersonators sashay across a velvet-curtained stage, and the morose lyrics are counterbalanced by large quantities of confetti, balloons, and pyrotechnics.

Considering that Martin sings “Got all kinds of poison in my blood,” we can only hope that Santa doesn’t bring young Apple and Moses any toys with lead-based paints.