Chinese Democracy in 2008

Updated:

June 29, 2009 1:17 pm

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There may be hope for mankind after all. After 17 years, a rumored $13 million in recording expenses, and an untold number of band shakeups, Guns N’ Roses long-awaited new album, Chinese Democracy, might finally be hitting the shelves sometime this calendar year. That is, if Dr. Pepper has anything to say about it.

The soft-drink giant announced today that, if Axl Rose and company released the album sometime in 2008, it would give away a free Dr. Pepper to every person in America

. Every person, of course, except for Rose’s nemeses Slash and Buckethead. The two former GNR guitarists both left the group after falling out with Rose and have been on his dead-to-me list ever since. And if Chinese Democracy drops this year, they’ll be the only ones around without the cool, crisp (and free) taste of 23 flavors swirling around their mouths.

Does this sound surreal? Has April Fools’ day come a week earlier than expected? A press release from Dr. Pepper confirms: “It took a little patience to perfect Dr Pepper’s special mix of 23 ingredients, which our fans have come to know and love,’ said Jaxie Alt, director of marketing for Dr Pepper. ‘So we completely understand and empathize with Axl’s quest for perfection—for something more than the average album. We know once it’s released, people will refer to it as ‘Dr Pepper for the ears’ because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds—an instant classic.”

We here at AS started to call Dr. Pepper’s media office for confirmation of the story before we realized: we just couldn’t take it if it wasn’t true. So cross your fingers. There might really be a heaven above you, baby.