Country music, at its heart, is known as three chords and the truth. There is something essential about the genre. It’s as much passing down wisdom and stories from the past as it is entertainment. Part lesson and part toe-tapper. But sometimes songwriters and performers can go a bit astray from that principle. Sometimes they can write silly or even outlandish country songs.
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Here below, we wanted to dive into a trio of such offerings. Three songs that shock and cause blushing as much as they make heads bob. Indeed, these are three embarrassing country songs that despite all that, we still enjoy from time to time.
[RELATED: 3 “Three Chords and the Truth” Country Songs]
“She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy” from Everywhere We Go by Kenny Chesney (1999)
It’s not that women don’t think big machines can be sexy when under the control of an attractive person, it’s just that this song is a little too on the nose. Usually amorous, hard-working songs beat around the proverbial bush a bit more than to just outright say She thinks my tractor’s sexy. Tractors and other vehicles are often fodder for country songs—and that’s terrific—but to build an entire track around the idea that a tractor is sexy is, well, not up to par with what country music can do. On the song Kenny Chesney sings,
Plowin’ these fields in the hot summer sun
Over by the gate lordy here she comes
With a basket full of chicken and a big cold jug of sweet tea
I make a little room and she climbs on up
Open up a throttle and stir a little dust
Just look at her face she ain’t a foolin’ me
She thinks my tractor’s sexy
It really turns her on
She’s always starin’ at me
While I’m chuggin’ along
She likes the way it’s pullin’ while we’re tillin’ up the land
She’s even kind of crazy ’bout my farmer’s tan
She’s the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor’s sexy
“Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)” from Horse of a Different Color by Big & Rich (2004)
Electric guitars, heavy percussion, and banjos open this track from the country duo. We can only believe this song is written and performed tongue-in-cheek. Even the video is over-the-top, overly rich with pomp and circumstance. Nevertheless, despite the jokey (we think?) track, it got lots of airplay on ESPN and even made the ABC television show Boston Legal, among others. But still, the track’s overt lyrics are just goofy, in the end. On it, the duo of Big & Rich sing,
Well, I walk into the room
Passing out hundred dollar bills
And it kills and it thrills like the horns on my Silverado grill
And I buy the bar a double round of crown
And everybody’s getting down
An’ this town ain’t never gonna be the same.
Cause I saddle up my horse
and I ride into the city
I make a lot of noise
Cause the girls
They are so pretty
Riding up and down Broadway
on my old stud Leroy
And the girls say
Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
Everybody says
Save a horse, Ride a cowboy
“Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” from Songs About Me by Trace Adkins (2005)
We saved the best for last. What do you get when you add city slang to a country song? You get this Gold-certified single. Inspired by a dancer in a club, the song was composed in a matter of minutes once its writers landed the term “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.” It would seem that when you strike pay dirt, the tune really just writes itself. Of course, no one is supposed to take this track too seriously. Still, it’s one we can’t help but grin and shake our head at. On the popular track, Adkins sings,
Hustlers shootin’ eight ball
Throwin’ darts at the wall
Feelin’ damn near ten feet tall
Here she comes, Lord help us all
Ol’ T.W.’s girlfriend done slapped him out his chair
Poor ole boy, it ain’t his fault
It’s so hard not to stare
At that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin’ perfect rhythm, make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin’ on like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee, shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There oughta be a law, get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how’d she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk
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