One-Sentence Previews of Five Pitchfork Artists

Last year’s Pitchfork festival was hot. And we mean hot. If you were there, you remember how things started getting ugly about 3 p.m. in the heat of the south-facing main stage. Never was it harder to “stay cool.”

Well, this year promises more of the same. Just when it looked like #heatwave2012 had finally retreated, temperatures are inching back up towards the 90s in Chicago—just in time for another epic hang in Union Park!

In lieu of the traditional festival preview, we’ve put together five tweet-able previews of artists we’re looking forward to seeing this weekend. Stay tuned for photos and more one-liners throughout the weekend.

Real Estate, Sunday, 4:15 p.m.
True-life tales of high school uber-chill offers immediate transport to Garden State stoner pool party

Chromatics, Saturday, 6:45 p.m.
Portland night music soundtracks Lynchian-Enoian dystopian futurescape-cum-false-reality-of-life-at-a-music-festival

Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Sunday, 1:45 p.m.
Ex-Mint Chicks Kiwi band-lord heads north, pays dues, captures zeitgeist; ending still “unknown.”

Atlas Sound / Lotus Plaza, Saturday, 1:55 p.m. and 2:30 p.m.
Atlanta art-house double feature to top 2011’s heavy psych-rock Deerhunter screening?

Dirty Beaches, Sunday, 1 p.m.
Guy with guitar (occasionally kick drum, sax) seen alone, crooning, conjuring hazy images of Pacific Ocean; rockabilly reborn?

Last Recommendations: if you don’t have a ticket, hit the afterparties. If you can’t take the heat, stream the webcast on YouTube.