5 of the Funniest John Prine Songs

The late John Prine was a master of capturing emotions in a single phrase, from heartache to hope to humor and virtually everything in between. Throughout his decades-long career, he became an everyman songwriter, skillfully speaking to experiences that appealed to the masses while also making every listener feel he wrote the song just for them.

Indeed, from his use of colorful characters to his witty one-liners, no one writes lyrics quite like John Prine did. And while he was a seriously iconic songwriter, part of his universal appeal was that he never took himself too seriously, as proven by this small sampling of some of the funniest John Prine songs.

1. “Your Flag Decal Won’t Get You Into Heaven Anymore”

The B-side opener to John Prine’s 1971 debut is full of tongue-in-cheek, satirical one-liners about overly patriotic zealots. It’s a criticism of nationalistic religion and a celebration of the tenets of Christianity all at once, proving how adept John Prine was at exploring multiple ideas simultaneously. But the best lines of all come in the second verse:

Well, I went to the bank this morning, and the cashier says to me
If you join our Christmas club, we’ll give you ten of them flags for free
Well, I didn’t mess around a bit, I took him up on what he said
And I stuck them stickers all over my car and one on my wife’s forehead

2. “Ain’t Hurtin’ Nobody”

From its undoubtedly 1990s production to John Prine’s classic lyrical wit, “Ain’t Hurtin’ Nobody” is a funky groove that oscillates between thought-provoking and ornery. The opening lines certainly lean toward the latter: I’m a walkin’ down the street like Lucky LaRue. Got my hand in my pocket, thinkin’ bout you. Then, Prine offers two laughable bridges to which any musician or average Joe, respectively, could relate:

Six million, seven hundred thousand and thirty-three lights on
You’d think someone could take the time
To sit down and listen to the words of my song

Perfectly crafted popular hit songs never used the wrong rhyme
You’d think that waitress could get my order right the first time

3. “Pretty Good”

Another classic from his 1971 debut, “Pretty Good,” is one more testament to John Prine’s ability to write his funniest lyrics while also addressing seemingly unfunny topics like global religion. In the final verse, he sings:

I heard Allah and Buddha were singing at the Savior’s feast
and up in the sky, an Arabian rabbi fed Quaker oats to a priest
Pretty good, not bad, they can’t complain
Cause actually, all them gods are just about the same

4. “Linda Goes to Mars”

“Linda Goes to Mars” is the sixth track off John Prine’s 1984 release ‘German Afternoons.’ The song details a marriage that has grown distant, with the narrator noticing in the first verse, I just found out yesterday that Linda goes to Mars every time I sit and look at pictures of used cars. And while the story of two lovers living on separate planets might sound melancholy, Prine effectively lightens the mood in the last verse:

Now, I ain’t seen no saucers ‘cept the ones on the shelf
And if I ever seen one, I’d keep it to myself
For if there’s life out there somewhere beyond this life on Earth
Then Linda must have gone out there and got her money’s worth

5. “In Spite Of Ourselves”

John Prine and Iris Dement’s duet “In Spite Of Ourselves” is arguably one of the sweetest, quirkiest, and funniest love songs in country music history, including lines like, She gets it on like the Easter bunny, and, She thinks all my jokes are corny; convict movies make her horny. Dement has her fair share of zingers, too, especially in her first verse:

He ain’t been laid in a month of Sundays,
Caught him once and he was sniffin’ my undies
He ain’t too sharp, but he gets things done
Drinks his beer like its oxygen
He’s my baby, and I’m his honey, never gonna let him go

Photo by Daniel DeSlover/ZUMA Wire/Shutterstock