1st Place | “How Can I Mourn You”

“How Can I Mourn You”
Written by Archie Brodsky
WATERTOWN, MASSACHUSETTS

Someday, sweetheart, when you finally die
I’ll be sure to give you a fitting goodbye
I’ll think of you with tenderness
While I’m trying on my funeral dress
I’ll honor your memory on that solemn day
But how can I mourn you if you won’t pass away?

I’ll ride in style in that long Cadillac
You always said I look good in black
I’ll make my way through the somber crowd
As your grieving widow I’ll do you proud
The most dignified widow since Jackie K
But how can I mourn you if you won’t pass away?

BRIDGE:
Now it’s not that I expect it
But if you make a graceful exit
Dear hubby, I won’t mind
And while we’re on the topic
I’ll be so philanthropic
With the funds you leave behind

So if you’re wondering how I’ll get along
I promise you that I’ll be strong
I swear that when you’re good and dead
I’ll find a use for your side of the bed
I’ll be living it up on your 401K
But how can I mourn you if you won’t pass away?